Ask any brand new parent how they’re doing, and they are likely to respond with some variation of, “I’m tired!” If you have children of your own, you can probably relate. With round the clock feeding and frequent nighttime wake-ups, it’s no wonder new parents are exhausted!
Newborn Sleep is complex and can vary greatly from baby to baby. Any parent of multiple children, or even twins, can tell you that no two kids sleep exactly the same.
We’ve all heard stories about babies that slept through the night from day one and others that didn’t sleep through the night until they were 6 or even later.
But what if I told you that that baby who slept through the night from the start, is likely to start having trouble later on? Or that the child who never slept through the night could have learned to sleep better sooner?
How well your child sleeps is less dependent on their natural born sleep skills, and more dependent on how well you set them up for success by introducing good sleep practices.
Now you may be asking, “You mean, I have some control over how well my baby sleeps?”
You got it! For healthy newborn babies with no underlying medical conditions, sleep is a habit that can be taught.
For a child to learn to sleep well and continue to sleep well, they need to accomplish these three things:
Sleep on a consistent schedule. Babies function best with regular and predictable routines. This means you should be putting your baby to bed at roughly the same time every night. Naps should follow a consistent routine as well.
Fall asleep independently. This means that your child can lay down in their crib and drift off to sleep comfortably without additional support. This includes feeding to sleep, rocking to sleep, driving to sleep, patting to sleep and any of the tricks parents use.
Sleep in a crib. When I say crib I am referring to any safe, flat sleep space. Other viable options are bassinets and pack ‘n’ plays.
Now, you may be thinking…
“But Karolyn...my baby nurses to sleep every single night! She has no idea how to fall asleep independently.” Or “My son will only sleep in bed with me! As soon as I lay him in the crib, he wakes right up.”
Don’t panic! Your child may not be able to do ANY of these things at first and that is perfectly normal.However, it’s important to start building a foundation for healthy sleep by implementing small steps to reach these goals by about 6-8 months of age.
Here are a few tips to get started helping your newborn lay a foundation for sleep:
Establishing A Consistent Schedule:
Start working toward a consistent bedtime between 8-10 pm from birth until 8 weeks of age. This will need to be adjusted to fall between 6-8 pm from 8 weeks of age until 8 years of age.
Introduce a solid bedtime routine by 6 weeks of age.
This should include a bath and/or massage, pj’s, story and/or song, end with a hug and kiss and put your child to sleep very drowsy, but still awake for now.
You will want to shift to putting them fully awake between the 8-12 week mark.
Know that naps are going to be an often unpredictable mystery for a while. Good nap routines don't generally start until your child is about 3-4 months of age where they will fall into a 3 nap schedule. Just breathe a sigh of relief knowing that it will get better if you take proactive steps now. Focus on:
Exposing your baby to natural light and fresh air throughout the day to start to signal a healthy circadian rhythm.
Separating feeding from sleeping. Follow your child’s feeding cues, but try to avoid letting them fully fall asleep on the breast or bottle (or at least not every single time.) This may seem like a good plan to get decent sleep for now, but it will often cause problems in the future. A simple diaper change can be a good separation between feeding and sleeping. Increase the separation with other activities as your child is able to stay awake for longer periods.
Try to get at least 1-2 good naps in a day. For newborns, a good nap is at least 1 hour long. Your baby will likely be taking about 4-6 catnaps for now.
Teaching Your Baby To Fall Asleep Independently
Put your child to sleep drowsy, but awake…..but know that this is only temporary. You will want to transition to putting your child to sleep fully awake between 8 and 12 weeks of age.
While you child may not be able to go to sleep on their own right away, don't get too dependent on one trick to get them to sleep, even if that one trick seems to work the best or is a guarantee. Instead, experiment with different tricks and use each of them sparingly. Yes, I realize this won't result in the best sleep every time, right away, but your efforts will result in better sleep long term. Focus on getting at least 1 or 2 good naps.
Let your spouse, a family member, or caregiver get involved in nap and bedtime routine rituals every once in a while. Letting your child get used to more people will not only help you try different sleep techniques, but will make having other caregivers during daycare and parent night outings easier later on.
Establishing The Ideal Sleep Environment
Ensure your child’s sleep space is equipped with white noise and blackout curtains.
Find a good swaddle to help prevent your child from startling awake due to something called the Moro reflex
I love the Halo Swaddle and the Love To Dream brands. Both of these allow for proper hip movement, but also allow for startle-free sleep. The Halo is best for the child that loves to be wrapped snugly and has multiple options for adjusting the swaddle as your child grows. The Love To Dream works best for the child who wants a little more freedom to move and easily allows for self-soothing with the hands. Both swaddles are appropriate at birth, but make sure you are following weight guidelines to purchase the proper size. Once your child can roll you will want to move on traditional sleep sack that allows for arm movement.
If you aren't already doing crib/bassinet sleep for every sleep, attempt back sleep in crib or bassinet a minimum of 2 times a day. Then increase to 3 and then 4 and so on. Set a goal of one extra daily crib sleep each week until every sleep is in the crib.
(Please know that back sleep is the only safe sleep. Using an incline,swing, rocker, prop, or co-sleeping comes with an increased risk for SIDS and is not recommended by the AAP.)
The newborn days can feel like a blur of short naps and constant feedings. However, this exhausting cycle doesn’t have to last forever. Although newborns are too young for formal sleep training, it’s never too early to start implementing good sleep practices. Use the tips given above to help your child lay a solid sleep foundation and start making progress toward longer night stretches and more fulfilling and energized days!
Finding these tips helpful? Want to learn more? Click to download your FREE SLEEP GUIDE and learn the top 4 reasons your baby isn’t sleeping through the night!
